1. Do not say what you mean. Ever.

2. Cry. Cry often.

3. Bring things up that were said, done, or thought years, months, or decades ago...or with other boyfriends.

4. Make them apologize for everything.

5. Get mad at them for everything.

6. Demand to be called or e-mailed. Often. Whine when they don't comply.

7. Use daddy as a weapon. Tell them about his gun collection, his quick trigger finger, and his affection for his Little Princess.

8. Be late for everything. Yell if they're late.

9. Criticize the way they dress.

10. Talk about your ex-boyfriend 24 - 7. Compare and contrast.

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